using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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