I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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