He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
