I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
