he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
