NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
