Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Ketchup is God's man juice
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
