whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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