The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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