D3 body, D1 cock
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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