Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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