i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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