I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
