I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
