So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
