i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
