Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
