Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
