Don't you send me to vm
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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