His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
