This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
