I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
