Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
