Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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