I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I looked at my own cervix.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
