it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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