Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
