my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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