She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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