I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
