There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
