I heard we made out
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
did you just send me my own nude
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
