Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
