Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize