Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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