I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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