Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
