P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
