dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
She's like a pop up book from hell.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
