I faked an abortion last night.
well you can't waste a boner
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
