I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
