Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
