He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
