can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
