Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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