i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
