i wish starbucks made bloody marys
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
