What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
