wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
