If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
