so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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