he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I DEMAND FORESKIN
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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