Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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