Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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