their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
