I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
