Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
