its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
home. puking in laundry basket.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize