So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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