he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
In America we eat man semen.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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